greetings ~
inviting people of any gender identification, racial classification, musical taste, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, dancing ability, dietary preference, & most political persuasions who are compatible in two key areas to share a home (either yours or a new one we can find together) this will probably be a little long *sheepish grin* but after living with others most of life in one configuration or another, i've learned a bit about what's important to me & what i can offer a shared housing situation. i hope that by taking the time to spell it out now will save time in the long run by helping to enable a truly good match.
=communication= this is without a doubt one of the most essential elements of all of my long lasting relationships (housemate, friend, lover, etc) i deeply believe that if people are willing to truly communicate (both expressing their selves & hearing others) most issues can be worked out. i'm not saying that it's always easy (who likes confrontation? yikes! not me) but if we're able to talk about things as they come up & listen to one another without being defensive (or at least /try/ to not be defensive *grin*) we can probably come up with a compromise. even if we simply 'agree to disagree' at least everyone can feel understood. this is one of the reasons the idea of house meeting is so important to me. depending on the scenario, it can be something as informal as splitting a pizza & catching up to a timed meeting with agenda & facilitator (i've done both & many ways in between) but having a scheduled time to check in with one another creates a forum to address issues before they build into resentments. maybe you're annoyed i keep leaving dirty dishes piled up in the sink (which is highly unlikely because i prefer to do them right away *grin* but hypothetically speaking...) instead of trying to catch me sometime our busy paths cross & figure out a way to bring it up without feeling awkward or waiting until you’re resentful & we have an ant infestation (ick! one of the main reasons i try to do them promptly) you can bring it up at this special time we've all set aside to help keep our home harmonious ~ now who doesn't want to have house meeting? *lol*
=affinity for children= people who enjoy their company vs. just tolerating their presence. i'm not saying you have to want to live in a daycare *grin* but even before i had my son, i found i connected better with those who truly liked kids. my son has lived with others (besides just me!) his entire life (he'll be four in july ~ is getting to a pretty cool age where he loves to make up stories & tell jokes that don't always make sense to me but that i still often find strangely hilarious) he has a pretty good understanding of how to be a good housemate (respecting others space/things/food, cleaning up after himself & listening when asked to do/stop something ~ not that he does it right away 100% of the time, but he's mostly cooperative & doesn't pull the 'you're not my mommy, you can't tell me what to do' routine) he can be rowdy & rambunctious at times (can't we all?) & may need reminders of house agreements, but i'm a very mindful mom & don't expect my housemates to take on the role of parent (though i do encourage respectfully setting boundaries with him & will back you up if he challenges them) or be his best buddy (he may have different hope & it would be great if you had fun together, but i have no expectation of free babysitting ~ bartered or paid could probably be worked out if interested; but again, not at all expected) we're pretty busy most of the time (he's at 'school' from 8-4:30 & we try to be in our room for special time around 7) one of my biggest desires is a situation where everyone truly feels at home.
=details= i'm not too familiar with oakland (south berkeley has been my hub) but really want to live there. i'm really enthusiastic about the it's vibe & want my son to go to oakland schools. i'm drawn to places with character vs. polish (& /love/ fixer uppers!) i’ve tended to live (& prefer to) in the more 'poor' parts of town. we only need (& can really only afford) 1 room i'm lucky enough to have a guaranteed (if somewhat limited) income. i always pay my bills on time & find inspiration for creativity by not being rich. i’d prefer to stay around the 450 range, but will stretch (not beyond my limits, but can rearrange some expenses) for the right situation.
in case you still want to know more *grin* you can feel free to check out my profile & message me through tribe. happy house mate hunting!
~ river
inviting people of any gender identification, racial classification, musical taste, sexual orientation, religious affiliation, dancing ability, dietary preference, & most political persuasions who are compatible in two key areas to share a home (either yours or a new one we can find together) this will probably be a little long *sheepish grin* but after living with others most of life in one configuration or another, i've learned a bit about what's important to me & what i can offer a shared housing situation. i hope that by taking the time to spell it out now will save time in the long run by helping to enable a truly good match.
=communication= this is without a doubt one of the most essential elements of all of my long lasting relationships (housemate, friend, lover, etc) i deeply believe that if people are willing to truly communicate (both expressing their selves & hearing others) most issues can be worked out. i'm not saying that it's always easy (who likes confrontation? yikes! not me) but if we're able to talk about things as they come up & listen to one another without being defensive (or at least /try/ to not be defensive *grin*) we can probably come up with a compromise. even if we simply 'agree to disagree' at least everyone can feel understood. this is one of the reasons the idea of house meeting is so important to me. depending on the scenario, it can be something as informal as splitting a pizza & catching up to a timed meeting with agenda & facilitator (i've done both & many ways in between) but having a scheduled time to check in with one another creates a forum to address issues before they build into resentments. maybe you're annoyed i keep leaving dirty dishes piled up in the sink (which is highly unlikely because i prefer to do them right away *grin* but hypothetically speaking...) instead of trying to catch me sometime our busy paths cross & figure out a way to bring it up without feeling awkward or waiting until you’re resentful & we have an ant infestation (ick! one of the main reasons i try to do them promptly) you can bring it up at this special time we've all set aside to help keep our home harmonious ~ now who doesn't want to have house meeting? *lol*
=affinity for children= people who enjoy their company vs. just tolerating their presence. i'm not saying you have to want to live in a daycare *grin* but even before i had my son, i found i connected better with those who truly liked kids. my son has lived with others (besides just me!) his entire life (he'll be four in july ~ is getting to a pretty cool age where he loves to make up stories & tell jokes that don't always make sense to me but that i still often find strangely hilarious) he has a pretty good understanding of how to be a good housemate (respecting others space/things/food, cleaning up after himself & listening when asked to do/stop something ~ not that he does it right away 100% of the time, but he's mostly cooperative & doesn't pull the 'you're not my mommy, you can't tell me what to do' routine) he can be rowdy & rambunctious at times (can't we all?) & may need reminders of house agreements, but i'm a very mindful mom & don't expect my housemates to take on the role of parent (though i do encourage respectfully setting boundaries with him & will back you up if he challenges them) or be his best buddy (he may have different hope & it would be great if you had fun together, but i have no expectation of free babysitting ~ bartered or paid could probably be worked out if interested; but again, not at all expected) we're pretty busy most of the time (he's at 'school' from 8-4:30 & we try to be in our room for special time around 7) one of my biggest desires is a situation where everyone truly feels at home.
=details= i'm not too familiar with oakland (south berkeley has been my hub) but really want to live there. i'm really enthusiastic about the it's vibe & want my son to go to oakland schools. i'm drawn to places with character vs. polish (& /love/ fixer uppers!) i’ve tended to live (& prefer to) in the more 'poor' parts of town. we only need (& can really only afford) 1 room i'm lucky enough to have a guaranteed (if somewhat limited) income. i always pay my bills on time & find inspiration for creativity by not being rich. i’d prefer to stay around the 450 range, but will stretch (not beyond my limits, but can rearrange some expenses) for the right situation.
in case you still want to know more *grin* you can feel free to check out my profile & message me through tribe. happy house mate hunting!
~ river
